Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Michigan...Bad Memories Take Over



TOP: The border crossing to get back into the US...8 cars, 1 hour. Homeland security at its bestest!
BOTTOM: No, it was a great trip. Why do you ask?
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Today we said goodbye to bob and the Apostle Islands (well, it LOOKED like a great place to kayak anyways) and headed on home. We decided to take a long W-->E shot across the Upper Peninsula (AKA "Da UP") of Michigan, then N-->S down near Detroit and cut across Canada to Buffalo. Well, there went 2 days. I really didn't realize (a) how long the UP was, (B) how boring the UP was, and (c) how much we just couldn't bring outselves to go through Detroit again.
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Detroit was the scene of our worst consulting assignment...a crappy vertical (automotive), crappy people (auto execs, except for Mike who was a great guy), and a crappy apartment (can you say advocado appliances?). In all the places we've lived, this was the only one that I didn't bike in...you took your life in your hands every time you left the house...and that was just in the apartment complex parking lot!
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It was also the scene of one of my greatest dog stories. A guy I worked with, let's call him Fred (since his name was Fred) asked me to dogsit his pooch. Turns out his pooch is some lab-bear mix, probably 150 lbs, and likes to eat. Likes to eat everything that is, including anything that was in his cupboards, his pillows, magazines, you name it, the stupid dog ate it.
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So, I go over day 1 to walk the dog (amongst my least favorite activities in all of life), and low and behold, the dog has shit everywhere. And, I mean everywhere. Probably 10 piles, in increasing size, density, and smell. And the place is a mess, as the stupid dog has chewed stuff all day long.
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I take the dog out for a walk (NOT that he could have ANYTHING left inside him at this point), then come back. Much as I want to leave the crap everywhere, I know that 3 days later it is going to stink real bad. So, I pick it all up, and because (of course...) his garbage is completely full, I shove it down the garbage disposal. Figure it chews up crap all the time anyways.
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NOTE TO SELF: DO NOT TURN ON A GARBAGE DISPOSAL FULL OF CRAP
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I spend the next 2 hours cleaning crap off of the entire kitchen.
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Anyhow, I digress. We end up making a detour to insure that we miss Detroit and bolt across Canada. Bolt, that is until we get back to the US re-entry border crossing. An hour with only 8 cars in front of us. It was ludicrous. At one point I try to get the HUNDREDS of other people in line laying on their horns...like we used to do in Boston. Kathy says I'm lucky they didn't shoot me on the spot. Absolutely ludicrous, and just one more example of the total ineptitude of Bush and his cronies. I'm a citizen trying to get back IN! Imagine how they treat the visitors.
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Anyhow, after 2 straight days of driving, thunderstorms, repressed memories of Detroit resurfacing, and crappy roads, we finally get back Home Sweet Home. A great trip, lots of great friends and sights along the way.
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Now, off to training for my next adventures!
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"Ready for my own bed" Lumpy out

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