Mrs O Funeral Stories

Well, we've gotten through the funeral week for Mrs O. It was a really tough one for Kathy, Mary, and the rest of the family, but she's unquestionably in a better place now, whatever you think that place to be. A couple of quick funeral stories though...
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Story 1: Kathy and Mary go over to her apt to get some clothes for the mortician. They pick out an outfit, and also get her shoes, glasses, and false teeth. On the way out of the apartment, Mary picks up an bag of donuts that Mrs O had in the apartment that were getting stale. They walk out, and Mary holds all the stuff while Kathy locks up the apartment. As they walk down the hall, Mary goes over to the dumpster chute and throws the donuts away.
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They get to the mortician, and out comes...her glasses, her shoes, and a bag of week old donuts. Guess who threw the WRONG BAG down the dumpster chute? Hope Mrs O doesn't have to chew any licorice where she's at...
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Story 2: The morning of the funeral, as Kathy and I are lying in bed in a state of exhaustion, her cell phone rings. She perks up, and says "That's my mother's ringtone". We look at each other in a state of utter confusion. "Well", I say, "I don't think it's her calling".
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Turns out Kathy's brother had taken her cell phone to use for the day, as he didn't have one.
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"Little Orphan-in-law Lumpy" out