Hi, Peaks!

LEFT: Lumpy and Gill (AKA The Arnold twins) atop Cascade Mountain in ADK's



Well, my summer training regime is off and running (cycling, kayaking, hiking actually) and I can't wait to get back into Non-Lumpy shape again. It's been a long 4 years since I got in shape for Ironman-Florida, and a lot of air travel and business meals in between. It cost me something like 35 lbs, 4o pts of blood pressure, 20 BPS of resting pulse, and 4 sizes of clothes.





After about 3 days of starter training to shock the body back to life, I went on my first excursion. This was to be a double-header; first, a 4 day hike in the Adirondack Mountains High Peaks region (so named because there's something like 40 peaks over 4,000 ft), followed by a 2 day kayak trip on the erie canal. A group of us have been section kayaking the Erie Canal for a couple of years now (more to come on this in the part 2 post from the trip) and this was one of the segments.





I did the hike with two jock friends, Bob from Minneapolis, and Gill from Rochester. Bob is an old friend, former Rochester resident, former business partner, and the inspiration for the GEICO caveman adds. He used to have a mountain-man big red beard, straggly hair, and has a baritone like Grizzly Adams. Now, he's older, thinner, less hairy, still just as loud, and interestingly enough more opinionated on life...good thing as it sure keeps the hike conversation interesting!





Gill is a longtime jock-mate, who has done big events such as the XC bike ride (earlier blog post), numerous bike trips, hike trips, and swim trips. She's a stud-of-studs, and is widely renowned for the size of her feet. If only she were a guy...she vould have an enormous schwanzstucker (Inga, YF).



Bob and I would hike and camp out tue, wed, and thu, then gill would join us for fri. Bob compiled a total ass-kicking workout, which, when we got to the trailhead, we found out that the main trail in was totally washed out. Turns out it was a good thing, because apparently the route he choose went UPHILL! What the hell was he thinking, try pulling this tractor tire that doubles as my waistline UP a HILL! Can't be done.

So, we went with an alternate plan; Mt Phelps, Mt Marcy, and then Mt Cascade. Three solid but not overwhelming peaks. Mt Phelps was a roaring good time, stupid rocks everywhere (who the hell expected rocks on a mountain trail?), good vertical, and damp, dreary weather. On tue night, in our lean-to, adjacent to the French-Canadian chicks (more to come on that one), it dropped to 30 overnight. This from a heat index during the day over 90. So, after you had the good fortune to sweat through your clothes during the day, you froze your butt off at night.

Now, back to the French-Canadian chicks (FCC's). Apparently it is well know that, other than Celine Dion, FCC's are the studliest chick on the planet. Bob just kept going on and on about them, and that was in his sleep, with his hand clutching his...well, you get the picture. Anyhow, we're literally just at the trailhead (start of the hike), and these two FCC's come out of the woods. They'd been there for a week, and came out looking like they had been there for 2 minutes. Perfectly coffiered, no sweat (other than the typical french-chick smell), biceps far larger than either of ours, talking that bizzaro FCC lingo "Eh, good day to wag the poodle, eh"..."Eh, we hat tricked that summit, eh", etc. So, Bob being Bob, decides to ask them to marry him, which the laughingly reject. Something about him already having child support and alimony until he's 78 years old. I don't know how they knew about that?

When we finish Phelps and look for a lean-to (basically, a piece of plywood leaned against a tree - just a wonderful piece of lodging that some drunk hiker dreamed up), the only one we could find was adjacent to another couple of FCC's. These were even more imposing, as they were taking turns head-butting trees to knock them over, then breaking the trunks into firewood with their bare hands. As I said, these FCC's are a tough breed. So, in a fit of deja vu, Bob decides to ask them to marry him also. Got to give him credit, he doesn't ever quit. One of them lifts him up, checks out his "puck", and tosses him aside. Now I'm NOT saying his manhood's not solid, just that it wasn't up to FCC spec. Later that evening we heard them mating with a black bear (and the bear was crying out "please for the love of god, let me go"...

The next day we did a part of Marcy peak, as my knee twisted up on a rock and I was having a bad day of it. Not the best start to my training regime. We got back to the lean-to, but when we found out that the FCC's had moved on, we really had no reason to camp anymore. So, we hiked out, and found ourselves a Margarita bar and a cheap lakeside motel.

More to come...day 3 ahead!