TOP: Bowling (like fishing, football, and pole dancing) is really just an excuse to drink and play cards. Well, maybe not pole dancing.
MIDDLE: The team was big on "group hugs" after every frame that Will actually hit the pins. Note the old guy in the middle; he wasn't actually bowling, just hanging out at the lanes panhandling for change
BOTTOM: Will and Grace in their final shot before heading off on their bowling honeymoon. They make a lovely couple
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With Tom out with knee surgery, the "Off Target" bowling crew needed a super-sub yet again. Unfortunately, I was the only one available. So, I YET AGAIN had to miss the American Idol results show to go bowl. Man, life is not fair sometimes.
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My knee was bothering me quite a bit, so I knew that it was not going to be a stellar appearance. The only option was to "enjoy the moment". And what an evening it was...girl watching with the oversize lesbian bowling league down the lanes...basically just tossing my hard-earned singles down the drain playing poker all evening (6 weeks of cards now, and I've yet to win even a single hand!)...watching Will shove slice after slice of grease slabs masquerading as pizza down his piehole, and, best of all, studying the various bowling styles.
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Unlike golf, where pretty much everybody has at least the concept of the perfect swing down (if not the execution thereof), bowling styles are all over the board. Some bowlers do the "I think I can hit the pins on the fly" mode, others, the "parabolic trajectory", and still others subscribe to the "Set the ball down and pray to Allah that it hits something" theory.
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We have all kinds on our team. Will, a big strapping young guy, sets the ball down like a 90lb girl, and then jumps and squeals if he gets any pins. Sean, all of 110 lbs soaking wet, starts his approach from outside of the building, running in full sprint at the line, as if pitching a cricket ball. He only ever gets a strike or a 1. Grace, who's apparently quite an athlete in other sports, screams "Hallelujah's" every time he actually hits the pins. It's like being at a Southern Baptist revival prayer meeting with him around. Well, except for the lilly white thing, and the endless stream of profanities coming out of his mouth. And Zach, he's clearly the team leader...in everything except average. Frankly, he's just thrilled to death to have a night out with the boys. Even if these are the boys. And every time somebody gets a strike, he sees the "X" and starts singing the Xavier fight song. Weird.
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The evening of fun is finally over, bowling is done for another year, Will and Grace head off on their honeymoon, Zach goes on to play "hubby-in-training", and Sean heads down to the Mike Tyson camp to serve as training bag. It's been a lot of fun hanging with the young guys, and hopefully when they're old somebody will return the favor. There has to be more to life on a Wednesday than American Idol!
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"16 pounder" Lumpy out
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