Vini, Vici, Vino...the CA Wine Country

TOP: Fruits of our cooking labors

2nd: Laraine helping the professional chef move up to a new level. NOTE: this may be the only shot that exists of Annmarie in a kitchen

3rd: Tom and Annmarie doing "Bend Dog" in yoga class

4th: Annmarie hours later in the wine fields, still stuck in the "Bend Dog" pose

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After that exciting day of race watching yesterday...arrive 2 hours early, drink wine, eat subs, watch cars and bikers go by for 10 minutes, drink more wine, go home...we were ready for a break. And break we did, with a lovely full day at the DeLoach winery. Accompanying Tom, Laraine, Kathy and me were Laraine's sister Annmarie...the midget in the family. Her husband Ed opted to chase a little white ball for a few hours.

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We started the day with breakfast at the winery, followed by a personal yoga class. Our young instructor, Ana, came in special to teach us, and she was leaving that afternoon for a week's master yoga training in Hawaii. She really had her hands full with our crew! We did all kinds of poses...Down Dog, Triangle pose, Foot in Butt pose, Finger in Nose, and the infamous Seated Testicle Under Kneecap pose. Took me hours to recover from that one.

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Following yoga, we had a tour of the wineries garden, and then into the kitchen. As foreign as yoga was to Laraine, the kitchen was like Mars to Annmarie. To her credit, she asked a lot of good questions...What's that thing (an oven)? Are you allowed to mix green and red in the same pot? Doesn't the cake come out with a UPC label on it? But, she got through the class, and even helped a bit...at one point she actually poured more champagne for us to drink. Talented gal...

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After a couple of hours of cooking, we enjoyed an outstanding meal...of course, the meal was actually prepared by the professional chef, and they threw ours out to the hogs. They refused to eat it.

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Next up, we had a private tour of the winery by the head vinter. We saw the vats, the crushers, the bottler, and, more important, we then headed back in for a couple of hours of tastings. We're there (I swear) 30 seconds into the first bottle, and Ed comes rushing in to join us. The man knows his priorities!

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Later, we thoroughly enjoy dinner in Napa, and retire for the evening. Big day tomorrow, we're watching the KOM in Sonoma, and then racing the peloton to Sacramento to see the finish, and hopefully get an eyeful of "Da Governator".

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Wine-soaked Lumpy out

Gentlemen, Start Your Engines!

TOP: What's the last thing a cyclist sees as the police motorcade runs him down...his butthole!

2nd: Mavic neutral support car at full throttle. They were screaming tires trying to keep up with the cyclists

3rd: Team Astana (Levi Leipheimer) trying to reel in the breakaway

4th: Race leader Jackson Stewart just past the King of the Mountain mark, in the midst of his 60 mile breakaway

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Today we started the peloton chase with stage 1, from Sausalito (Northern SanFran) to the coast, then inland to Santa Rosa. A solid route by anyone's standard.

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We elected to watch the race near the town of Occidental, a town "That Time Forgot". We wheeled into town, and it was filled with hippies, dudes selling that there mar-i-jo-wana, dreadlocks, and tie-dye shirts. Someone totally forgot to post on the town bulletin board that the '60's are now officially over. Great subs though at the local grocery...gotta slam a big sub after an evening of getting high I guess.

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We drove uphill to just past the King of the Mountain (KOM). This is a big hill climb that racers get extra points (and sometimes a time bonus) for winning...basically a race within a race. We got there a bit early, with plenty of time to relish our subs, drink a couple of bottles of fine CA vino, and make friends with the other race groupies.

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Suddenly, a CHIPS car FLIES by at about 90 mph...this is on a really tight back country road, with wicked curves and ups and downs. Then, another. Then another. Then, a pack of police motorcycles. "The peloton is coming, the peloton is coming" yells one of the groupies, in true Paul Revere fashion. And, a coming they are....Jackson Stewart out front, pedaling like his life depended upon it, then a break, then 150 other riders in full gear. I would estimate that they went by us at over 40mph...the sound was incredible, and they pushed "big wind" along the road...like a semi truck going by. Then, a break of a few minutes, and the slugs come on by, trying desperately to get back on the peloton.

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Then, it's all over. 10 minutes tops, raw excitement, and then time to pack up and head back to Occidental to see their new public art, "Ode to a Bong".

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Heck of a fun start to the race.

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"I'd be the slug in back" Lumpy out

Team High Road Shots

TOP: Team High Road

2nd: George Hincape, Team Manager, Team Owner, Phil Liggit

Laraine: Cycling Groupie Extraordinaire

TOP: Team High Road Woman's Team

2nd: Bradley Wiggins, world Time Trial champion

3rd: George Hincapie (the greatest domestic' in history)

4th: Laraine and Phil Liggit, the world's greatest sports announcer

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As I was reading the morning paper in San Jose, I came upon an article that said that Team High Road, a new world class bike racing team was holding their "announcement" press conference later that day. I quickly email'd the press contact, informing her that I, Senor Lumpy from New York, was in town, and asking if I could attend with some travelling companions. She, of course, consented immediately, knowing what an incredibly important person I was to the sport.

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The team launch was a ton of fun...upwards of 60 world class cyclists across 3 teams (men, women, transexual...no, wait, I think that was under 23). We met Bradley Wiggins, Michael Rodgers, George Hincape, Kim Kirchen, and a ton of others. A really fun afternoon, and extraordinarily well coreographed by the High Road management team.

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Laraine was in her glory....hanging with Phil Liggit and George Hincape, whom she has targeted for her next two husbands (guess the order of that one...) after Tom kicks the bucket. She's aiming for the Heidich (maiden name) family record, currently held by her mom at 4 (husbands). I've heard her talk of "putting 6 in the ground before I'm done". Now, THAT's a woman with a mission!

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Groupie Lumpy out

CA-LEE--FORN-YE Here We Come

TOP: Gary (note the hair!) with Deb and Ed Fotsch at their chateau on San Francisco Bay. Ed was considering a career change from software wizard to lumberjack. Deb, of course, was her usual model-like self.

MIDDLE: Saski doing "the puppet thing" with Walter. She does this when her normal "mind control" is too tiring.

BOTTOM: Tom looking to set off an "Amber Alert" on the Stanford campus. He did, then claimed his lab "Amber" was lost. Somehow the Stanford cops didn't think it was all that funny.

Finally, after the pain of Florida (mom getting real sick, and car dying on the side of the freeway, rain almost every day, tornadoes), we headed off to the promised land- California. Kathy and I flew into San Jose on one of the most turbulent flight we've experienced in some time....bouncing all over the cabin, seat belted for over 2 hours, and people heaving up their lunch bag after bag.

We were meeting Tom and Laraine Gallagher to do some sightseeing, catch up with old friends, and see the Tour of California bike race (kinda like the Tour de France, but with less heavy sauces and champaigne). We rendezvoused in SanJose, and spent an incredible Valentine's Day eating dinner at the Residence Inn...nobody ever said we weren't romantics.

We had a full slate for the week with the Gallagher's, then another week booked into San Diego to go visit our friends there. We started with dinner at The Slanted Door, a very good asian-fusion (I don't know what that means, but I saw it on the menu so it must be important...maybe something to do with the Chinese getting nuc-u-lar weapons) restaurant right on the SF wharf. The food was exceptional, and we got to hook up with our "new" friends from our Kilimanjaro hike, Walter and Saski. They are PhD folks over at Livermore and Berkely respectively, way smarter than the rest of the universe, and thinner than me (but who isn't, really). We had a great dinner reminiscing about Kilimanjaro, and discussing our next great adventures. Walter got in NEARLY 3 sentences...he's come far.

The next night, we split up, with Gallagher's going to visit Laraine's sister AnnMarie and husband Ed, and Austin's going to visit the Fotsch's at "Chateau Golden Gate". Ed and Deb were business acquaintences of mine (back in the old days when I actually worked for a living), and are just fantastic people. They're raising 2 sets of twins (just shoot me...), the older ones being cute and cuter, and the younger dumb and dumber. The older ones are headed "Ivy" (one to Cornell, my old college haunt), and the younger ones are studying hard to get into high school...they're now 15 and have to move up next year as they're now 8" taller than their classmates. They are, however, Wii studs, so maybe there's hope for them after all...that is if "Halo" becomes income producing.

After imbibing of their massive wine cellar, we played the parental equivalent of "Truth of Dare" over dinner. Ed asked the twins (and some friends who were staying over) a question, and if they get it right, they get to eat. If not, then they have to go jump off the deck into the Bay...or the bayside rocks if they miss the bay. Some nasty screams that night. Anyhow, only lost 2 of the boys, so dinner was considered a success. They got several questions right "Name the city across the water from here?", and "Does your name start with a "B" or a "D?". They really struggled though with "What animal flys?" and of course, the indominable "What is the airspeed of a swallow?". I haven't had so much fun at dinner since the mashed potato fights with my sister growing up. Kathy and I are now thinking about adopting twins.

After some more wine and catch-up, we bid them good night, and headed off to hangover #1 of the trip. Lovely couple, lovely family, lovely home. Can't wait to host them at "Casa de Lump" so they can enjoy our 3 plant flower garden, view of the shed behind us, drink NY wines, and play euchre.

Tomorrow, day T-1 of the Tour of California.

"Slanted" Lumpy out

RIP: Subaru 1996-2008

As we pulled out of Mark and Diana's driveway, Kathy's trust old subaru felt funny; the wheels felt like they were on ice. I vowed to take it to the dealer when we got back up to Sarasota. Unfortunately, we never got that chance.

We're cruising down I75 at about 80 when we get into traffic and I have to take the cruise control off. The car immediately starts slowing down, cars begin backing up behind us blowing their horns and drivers cursing; something is clearly way wrong. And, to make matters worse, we're in a construction zone, with those big concrete barriers on both sides, and nowhere to pull off, except to just stop dead in the traffic lane. Of such are great 5 o'clock news videos made...

Anyhow, as we're now down to about 15mph, and cars are coming behind us at about 80mph, we're scrambling for an exit. The first sign we see if just coincidently for george's place near naples, and it's only a mile down the road. So, we goose the engine up to 7,000rpm, and make a run for the exit ramp...at 15mph and slowing. 5 minutes later, we just make the exit as a tandem semi is bearing down on us, coast down the offramp, and roll to a stop on the side of the highway.

I call george, who without any hesitation cuts out of his golf game and comes to get us. Couldn't ask for a better friend in time of need. While I wait roadside for the flatbed (try finding a flatbed in Florida), he gives kathy his new cadillac, and returns to his golf game. Kathy of course is scared to death, as the car costs more than our house...and cars...and frankly, all our assets put together.

Then, the real fun begins. First, the the only subaru dealer is 80 miles away, and AAA doesn't cover that far. So, there goes the leftover cash in the wallet. An hour after pickup, the tow operator calls me with the news "Hey Lumpy, there's no subaru dealer here, just an empty parking lot". Seems AAA had bad info in their database, and sent him to a long closed dealership. So, he just drops the car off at a local garage and leaves. It's now about 10pm, and the car broke down about noon. This day is definitely shot.

Upon awakening (and smelling Mickey's manhattans for breakfast), we take the Caddy up to the garage (80 miles away). Although I left them a voice mail to not touch the car, they, of course, had it up on a lift anyways and we're working on it. So, first I had to get them to put it down and leave it alone. Next , we had to get yet ANOTHER flatbed to transport the car from this garage to the site of the new subaru dealership. Another 3 hours or so lost. The dealer said he would take at least a look at it today, so we went and hung out.

Hours later, he calls me with the great news that for just a few hundred dollars in parts, he will be able to tell me if the car will ever run again. So, we go that route. Oh, and it will be tomorrow before he knows. So, we're stuck in the Caddy for another day. Nice though, as we can setup a tent in the back seat, and it has a full kitchenette.

The next day he breaks the news to us that the car is dead; victim of a destroyed transmission. As the tranny costs more than the car did originally, we decide to put it to sleep. 12 years and 130,000 miles, not a bad run. Kathy is heartbroken; she loved that car, and it had saved her several times from death with its traction and hardiness. They were kind enough to pull the kayak racks off, which turned into a 2 hour job, complete with hacksaws, blowtorches, and drums of lubricant.

So, mr subaru, thank you for all your years of hard work, for keeping us safe, and for all the fun venues we've experienced on your back. Rest in Peace.

A Special Moment in a Young Man's Life...

Kathy taking Tommy to get his first tattoo, following 7 mojitos (by Tommy). He thankfully passed on the back-size flaming skull, and choose a picture of Kathy on his bicep.