Where Dogs "Rule" the Roost

L-->R: Eric Stephanie, Huge dog, Sausage dog, Margaret. I think I got that right...Huge dog ate the other two girls before we got a chance to meet them.

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I've always thought that out of every bad event comes some good. When my mom died, we re-connected with a number of folks from long ago...old neighbors, grammer school friends, and high school friends.

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One of the real surprises was my old high school swim buddy Eric and his wife Margaret (sister of my inseparable twin of different mothers, Bob). They had never dated in high school, but met sometime later at a rally for Ralph Nader...or maybe that was for Ralph Cramden...one of those.

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They hit it off immediately, agreed that they would both be virgins until 2 years after they were married (Stephanie, take note of this!), and promptly eloped to Las Vegas. Margaret was so shocked by what she saw there, that it turned her hair blonde!

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Since then they've had 3 lovely kids, and 2 homely pooches. The kids are all roughly the same size, but the dogs are hysterically different...a St Bernard (named after the catholic saint who grew so big he burst), and a dachsund, the consumate sausage dog. This one is a blind sausage however, so it walks around the house, barking fiercely, and running head-on into chair legs. Quite humorous to watch. They're hoping to adopt a 3 legged ferret and a dead racoon soon.

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Eric's built a nice career running a local golf course. He was always into food, leisure, and rich white people. Margaret is a teacher, working primarily with blind dogs...teaching them to use canes and read dog-braille and such. Stephanie is approaching college soon, and the dogs couldn't stop talking about finally having the house to themselves. She has her own horse...what else would you own living in a subdivision in suburbia? Noteably, it's smaller than the St Bernard.

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Anyhow, always good to catch up with old friends, see how their life has evolved over the years, and reminisce about the good times. And Eric sure learned to cook a mean corned beef...

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"Catch-up Stroke" Lumpy out

Low-Low Doubles

TOP: Bowling (like fishing, football, and pole dancing) is really just an excuse to drink and play cards. Well, maybe not pole dancing.

MIDDLE: The team was big on "group hugs" after every frame that Will actually hit the pins. Note the old guy in the middle; he wasn't actually bowling, just hanging out at the lanes panhandling for change

BOTTOM: Will and Grace in their final shot before heading off on their bowling honeymoon. They make a lovely couple

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With Tom out with knee surgery, the "Off Target" bowling crew needed a super-sub yet again. Unfortunately, I was the only one available. So, I YET AGAIN had to miss the American Idol results show to go bowl. Man, life is not fair sometimes.

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My knee was bothering me quite a bit, so I knew that it was not going to be a stellar appearance. The only option was to "enjoy the moment". And what an evening it was...girl watching with the oversize lesbian bowling league down the lanes...basically just tossing my hard-earned singles down the drain playing poker all evening (6 weeks of cards now, and I've yet to win even a single hand!)...watching Will shove slice after slice of grease slabs masquerading as pizza down his piehole, and, best of all, studying the various bowling styles.

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Unlike golf, where pretty much everybody has at least the concept of the perfect swing down (if not the execution thereof), bowling styles are all over the board. Some bowlers do the "I think I can hit the pins on the fly" mode, others, the "parabolic trajectory", and still others subscribe to the "Set the ball down and pray to Allah that it hits something" theory.

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We have all kinds on our team. Will, a big strapping young guy, sets the ball down like a 90lb girl, and then jumps and squeals if he gets any pins. Sean, all of 110 lbs soaking wet, starts his approach from outside of the building, running in full sprint at the line, as if pitching a cricket ball. He only ever gets a strike or a 1. Grace, who's apparently quite an athlete in other sports, screams "Hallelujah's" every time he actually hits the pins. It's like being at a Southern Baptist revival prayer meeting with him around. Well, except for the lilly white thing, and the endless stream of profanities coming out of his mouth. And Zach, he's clearly the team leader...in everything except average. Frankly, he's just thrilled to death to have a night out with the boys. Even if these are the boys. And every time somebody gets a strike, he sees the "X" and starts singing the Xavier fight song. Weird.

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The evening of fun is finally over, bowling is done for another year, Will and Grace head off on their honeymoon, Zach goes on to play "hubby-in-training", and Sean heads down to the Mike Tyson camp to serve as training bag. It's been a lot of fun hanging with the young guys, and hopefully when they're old somebody will return the favor. There has to be more to life on a Wednesday than American Idol!

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"16 pounder" Lumpy out

When Irish Eyes are Smiling

TOP: An ewok trying to sneak into the party

BOTTOM: The "Michael Jackson" of leprecans

For St Paddy's day we went over to a friends house to enjoy the festivities. Although we were both still sick, we figured the only cure was to be Irish whiskey. While there, the bartender (i.e. the one chick who was still mildly sober) was making a drink called a milkshake. 2 parts Irish Cream, one part irish whiskey, and 1 part get naked and dance on the coffee table. The heck with modern pharmaceuticals; after about a dozen of those I left the party able to breath again, no stomach ache, and raring to go.

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Unfortunately, the next morning (well, really afternoon by the time I was able to climb out of bed) didn't yield the same results...I was still "wearin' the green" if you catch my drift!

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"Stowage" Lumpy out

The (Card) Sharks Swarm

TOP: The perfect quiche (OK, at least a "better than mediocre" quiche)

BOTTOM: Card sharks in a feeding frenzy

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Two of the things we really like to do are eat and play cards. So, combine the two, and you have a great evening of fun. We try to have card parties every month or so while whenever we're at home.

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Last night we had a small party, only 8 players (vs. 70 or 80 usually). I decided to try my ongoing quest to be Rachael Ray with another new recipe..this time "quiche".

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Now the only thing I know about quiche is that real men don't eat it. So, given that almost all my buddies are now "snipped", quiche seemed like the perfect meal for them. Of course, my excellent souis-chef Kathy helped tremendously. She bought all the ingredients, made all the quiche innards, baked the crusts, and prepared the quiches. I, however, did the most important parts, such as putting the quiche INTO the oven, and loading the dishwasher. So I get credit for the cooking.

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The quiche's turned out quite good...we were totally surprised. We made an asparagus and tomato, a multi-mushroom, and a bacon. They were devoured by the card sharks, who then went over the top with Jan's giant Ho-Ho cake, and Fran's homemade eclairs. Diabetes ahoy! Players could barely get vertical enough to move table to table.

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The game itself was its usual highly competitive one. It came right down to the end, with Gill getting a "1" in her final game to win the booby prize (don't make me go there), and Koz dealing himself a loaner at 9 points to win with 13, and tie Fran for the overall top prize. Nothing fishy there, nope...

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Final Scores

Fran and Koz 68 (tie for 1st), Gary 62 (3rd), Wiz 61 (how's it feel to miss by 1 point...just curious), Mark 56 (admirable for ingesting 2 bottles of wine), Jan 49 (and yet, she's still getting the cottage in the will), Kathy 47 (got some quiche in her eyes, obviously couldn't see the cards), and Gill 45.

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"Ready for Vegas" Lumpy out

An Egg-streamly Funny Story

So, Kathy has our niece Joanna over to color some (hard boiled) Easter eggs, an old family tradition. I think it comes from the days when her Irish ancestors didn't have enough eggs to go around for everyone to eat, so they used to mix in pebbles from the local creek. If you colored the eggs, the kids were none the wiser whether they were eating pebbles or eggs. Kids are dumb like that...

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Anyhow, I digress. To continue, Kathy buys 4 dozen eggs...3 dozen to color, and 1 dozen for use throughout the week in her continuing quest to get my cholesterol up over the 300 mark. She invites her family over to color..The Queen Mother, The Queen, and the rest of the clan. They color up a storm all afternoon, and make frankly, some beautiful eggs (as evidenced above). Everyone takes 1/2 dozen eggs home so they have hard-boiled eggs for lunch during the week.

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Exit Sunday...Tuesday morning I get up and go to make an omlette for breakfast. I pull the dozen eggs out, go to crack one, and, huh, it's hard boiled. Ok, whatever. So, I go to crack another one...hard boiled also. I test the rest of the dozen, and they're all hard boiled. So, I go have some cheerios instead.

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When Kathy gets up, I ask her, "Why did you keep a whole dozen hard boiled eggs, but no fresh eggs?". Loooong pause. Then "Oh, CRAP..."

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And THAT's how the O'Sullivan's had egg all over themselves at their lunches that week :-)

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"I am the eggman, coocooachoo" Lumpy out

Gotta Love a Game With Big Balls

TOP TWO SHOTS: #1 vs #2 team anchors go head-to-head in a shoot out. Note Tom with his pretty orange ball...always the fashion plate.

BOTTOM: Will with yet another blazing 3 pin open. He's considering turning pro next season if the roofing thing doesn't work out

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I got a call yesterday to sub for my friend's bowling team. I sub'd a couple of time last year, and not that I totally suck, but I'm certainly no Don Weber or Johnny Petraglia (HAH! What are the chances that YOU could name two professional bowlers? )

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They're deeply in last place, and nothing I'm going to do it going to make a difference there. But, I do buy a good pitcher of beer, so I'm their favorite sub. Plus, they don't have to buy age credits when I'm there.

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So, we're bowling along our merry last place way, and on the lanes next to us are the #1 and #2 teams. They are T-ing off in a steel cage match for first place, one point separating the two teams. Now, I've been a sporadic bowler since I was a little kid, but I'd never seen the likes of a game like this. They went toe-to-toe, and across all 10 bowlers I don't think that they had more than 4 opens the whole game. The two anchor bowlers (who I felt deserved a pix above) both rolled 9 strikes in a row. In the 10th, after #1 (who resembeld a full-size Ewok) had rolled his 10th strike, the lane broke. It took the inept lane people some 15 minutes to fix it. By then, the entire population of the establishment was crowded around the alley. Finally, #1 anchor threw his 11th ball...to a resounding 7! Oh, the pain, and was he ever pissed off. He spared out for a fine 280 something, and then came the #2 anchor ( a short, squat guy with shorts, black socks, and a flattop haircut). He threw strikes #10, 11, and 12, for a perfect 300 game. And on top of that, the two teams tied in total score. Truly an incredible display, even if you're not a bowling fan.

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Although I'm pretty inept at it, I always thought bowling was an interesting sport. It's the only sport that I can note where a rank amateur can actually attain perfection (try golfing an 18 someday), and in any given game can compete with the greatest hall of famer. Plus, you have beer, cards, chicken wings, and man-gossip. What better way to spend an evening!

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"Gutter Ball" Lumpy out

They Say You Can Never Go Home...You Just Need a Chevy BMF!

We land after a long redeye back in Sarasota, and rent our car (Kathy's had died earlier in the trip so we junked it...earlier post).

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We drove to the condo, loaded up our gear, and hit the road. The drive was to turn out to be a horrendous one. First, a semi drops an entire load of roofing trusses not more than 5 cars in front of us on the freeway. Cars veer every which way, and we miss the wood by just a couple of feet. The weather keeps getting worse and worse, and now they are noting tornadoes near Jacksonville, 10 miles away. The GPS (now named Nancy, given her ability to yell at me for hours on end with no decrease in volume) routes us off the freeway for a major short-cut; it turns out to be a bad one, as the rain and wind increases to hurricane intensity, trees are down all over the roads, several feet deep puddles appear from nowhere, and cars are strewn like matchsticks. The truck above jacknifed just 1/4 mile ahead of us, and would have gone directly into a house had it not hit that tree first head-on.

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We made Charlotte the first evening and bedded down. When we awoke and got on the road, a snowstorm started in earnest. I went to use the wipers, and, low and behold, the washer reservoir was frozen solid. Seems that in Florida they just fill the reservoir with water, not anti-freeze wiper fluid. A quick desperate call showed that the nearest car trade-in spot was 80 miles away. So we drove, 30mph on the freeway, in a snowstorm, through West Virginia's mountains, for nearly 3 hours to trade the car in. Not a fun afternoon.

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We trade the car, and the only 4x4 the have available is a chevy BMF (you figure it out). The beast was HUGE; how huge we did not appreciate until we filled the tank for the first time 70 miles and $70 later. 3 rounds of that and we were finally home. What a pig...who can afford to drive these things?

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Anyhow, we finally made it home safely, and got mom's wake taken care of (earlier post). We're going to spend some time here at home to regroup, plan our our next round of trips, and get the body and spirit back in shape.

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"Hangin' around Home" Lumpy out

A San Diego Quickie

TOP: The wineries in Temecula continue to multiply and expand. This was just a field when we lived here 6 years ago

2nd: Surfers at Swamee's, one of my favorite surf watching spots

3rd: Cake at Miltons, my old DelMar haunt

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We had to cancel visits with many friends in SanDiego...Tony, Scott, Sam and Wendy, Jeff and Katherine to name a few. But, mom's wake was calling.

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As we drove through town on our way to the airport, we stopped by a couple of favorite places. Temecula has outstanding wineries, and we spent many a day there surfing the tasting rooms with the Nichols, the Carlsons, the Montinis, and many others. Then we drove by Swamees, and checked out the surfers. The surf was high that day, and they were cutting some mean breaks. Then we had a late lunch at Miltons in DelMar, one of my favorite restaurants in the area...great food, great prices, great service. On to the airport, and on to Florida.

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Goodbye SanDiego, we miss you a whole lot!

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"Surfin' USA" Lumpy out

Oscars Here!

TOP: Strolling "The Boulevard"

2nd: A star for a great American (short of the silly Huckabee endorsement thing

3rd: Find the "Living Statuette" in this picture. Note the "No behaving like a statue" sign in back

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As we had a day to kill before our plane back to FL, so we elected to take the long road to SanDiego. Our first stop was Hollywood, as today was Ocars night. We parked the car and strolled Hollywood Blvd...up to about 5 BLOCKS away from the Kodak theater, where the security fences, magnetometers, and police started. I've never seen this much security for a sitting president! We couldn't get anywhere near the theater, and the only "stars" we saw were the tuxedo's waiters and gowned waitresses. Well, maybe Perez Hilton was there, but he hardly counts as a star. So, we packed up, and continued on down to SD.

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"George Clooney's brother" Lumpy out

Marina del Lump

TOP: Jon and Carol doing the cute spouse thing

2nd: Joanna and Kathy compare sunburns

3rd: Sharon and Dewey in a rare moment sans a wineglass in their hands

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Our trip was coming to an end quickly. We'd just got word that my mom had died (earlier post), and so we were cancelling our San Diego leg, and making the long trek home to Rochester. First though, we had to drop the Gallagher's off at LAX for their flight, do dinner with a bunch of old friends, and then get down to SD to make our flight there (back to Florida, where we would then have to rent a car and drive back home). A long story, and a long journey.

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It was great to see Jon, Joanna, Sharron, Dewey, and to finally meet Carol. All great people, and we've done a lot together...hiking and cycling with Joanna, work and wineries with Sharon and Dewey, and burritos with Jon. I was pretty down about my mom, but they (along with a few glasses of red) help perk my spirits back up. I couldn't have asked for anything better..good friends, good food, and good conversation.

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Thanks to them all, and we'll catch up next trip out west under more upbeat circumstances.

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Lumpy out

She Goes In and Out and In and Out and In and Out and In and Out

TOP: The only chain food that matters

BOTTOM: "Virgin" Laraine downing her first ever In-N-Out burger.

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On our way to LA, it came up that Laraine had NEVER had an In-N-Out burger. Now, the Lump here don't know nutin' if he don't know his burgers...and In-N-Out are the best fast food burgers on the planet. In fact, maybe the best burger of any variety. So, we had to make a pit stop.

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2 hours and about 18 burgers later we finally left the restaurant. I had visions of dancing french fries for days...Laraine fell quickly asleep in the car and kept muttering "Kill another cow..I need another burger".

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"Animal Style" Lumpy out

A Man's Home is His Castle

TOP: Main indoor pool (10ft deep all around, this is room 1/2). Statues are all real Roman

2nd: Main outdoor pool

3rd: The Main house (castle)

4th: The front of the guest house (probably 20,000 ft^2)

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After an uncharacteristically day of horrible weather in Santa Barbara, we headed up to Hearst Castle for a tour. William Randolph Hearst was the first international media magnet, and, just like monopolists in other industries (oil, steel ,rail, computer) he had serious coin. This castle was just one of the houses he owned. Although everyone calls it a castle, he always referred to it as his ranch...his castle was a real castle over in europe.

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The opulance was incredible...tile everything, gold leaf everywhere, priceless art, pottery, statues, in every room. The man knew how to spend his money. Our tour guide was excellent, telling us all kinds of neat stories. Hearst's wife decided to move to NY somewhere along the way...he remained both married and friendly with her, while taking on a new woman in a wife-like position for his remaining years. His friends included everyone who mattered...Chaplin, Barrymore, Garbo, Gable...we probably would have been buds if I was alive then :-)

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"Rosebud" Lumpy out

And The Winner Is...

TOP: Finishing chute long view. Cyclists enter the chute at about a 90 degree turn at 40mph

2nd: Watching the cyclists out on the course via CCTV

3rd: Fabian Cancillara in full throttle down the chute

4th: Race winner Levi Leipheimer powers in for the win

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As we're walking over towards the finishing chute, Laraine yells out "Hey, there's Landis". Yes, disgraced (albeit still supported in some circles) former Tour de France winner Floyd Landis was hanging out in one of the courtesy tents. Don't know if he's guilty or not, but things don't smell all that good in Amish Country.

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The cyclists are now speeding down the finishing chute faster and faster. The top guys will exceed 40 mph...there are thousands of spectators crowded against the metal barricaides, the noise level is deafening...cheers, loudspeakers, helicopters, police sirens, you name it, that noise is being generated.

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Into the finish comes Cancillara, full tuck, and pedaling like his life depended on it. His time is a bit off however, and he finishes ~ 5th for the day (actually dropping him from 2nd to 4th overall). The last finisher is Levi Leipheimer, the yellow jersey wearer, and he powers in at an ungodly rate of speed...I was taking pix from bike level and it was like a car going by.

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Levi wins the day, retains the overall race lead (and eventually wins the overall race 2 days later). Word is that he will not be allowed to start the Tour de France this year (3rd overall last year) because his new team is being punished for past drug transgressions by riders who have since all either retired or been fired. This seems quite unfair to me. I'm not a huge Levi fan, but he has always tested clean, has no taint of being associated with any other scandals, and this year's team is brand new to him (his prior...Discovery...retired from the sport). If you concur, please surf to: http://letleviride.com/ and sign the petition.

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"Levi has no "L" in his loss column!

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Lumpy out

The Race of Truth - Solvang Time Trial

TOP: Yellow jersey wearer (race leader) Levi Leipheimer readies himself in the starting ramp

2nd: World Champion Fabian Cancillara fills the lungs before entering the start ramp

3rd: US Time Trial Champion Dave Zabriske heads toward bike weigh-in

4th: George Hincape test his position after a mechanical alteration

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Today we head up to Solvang, a very cute (albeit hokey) little town just north of Santa Barbara. Solvang is modeled after a Danish town, complete with snowflake artwork, metal roofs, and really bad food. In fact, we had far and away the worst breakfast of the trip in town. The race today is a time trial, often called "The Race of Truth" since it's just one man against himself. Each racer starts 1 minute apart, and rides till he either passes out or finishes. It's likely that the overall race will be decided today, and it's a very tight competition with Levi Leipheimer leading, but about 8 other cyclists within a minute of him.

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The race course is really nicely done, such that you can watch the cyclists take off from the start ramp, and then walk just one block and see the finishing chute. Plus, numerous massive outdoor TV screens for the spectators to follow the progress on the road. We skip the first hour or so, but then head over to watch the studs take off. We see them all...Cippolini, Fiere, Bettini, basically anyone whose name ends in a vowel. As it gets near time for the top 10 to leave, the hustle and bustle aproaches a fever pitch.

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I migrate down behind the start gate, and literally can talk to every rider from about a foot away...very cool. Their bikes are incredible, probably $10k-$20k apiece. Each rider comes into the start facility, has his bike weighed (there is a minimum weight requirement for safety purposes), then has a few minutes to compose himself, stretch out, our whatever. It's most interesting to watch everyone's pre-race ritual...George talks to the fans, Fabian sits nearly motionless and deep breathes, Levi is a dick to his mechanic.

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The most anticipated race looks to be Fabian, currently in second, but world road race champion, versus Levi, currently the race leader, and last year's overall race winner. Both phenominal time trial riders, and both looking very studly today.

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The final racers are away, and we hustle the block over to see the finishers.

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"I could been a contender" Lumpy out

It's Not US1 for Nutin'

US1, perhaps the prettiest road in the US.

Our Off Day

TOP: Tom and Kathy spend yet ANOTHER lunch drinking margaritas. Patron stock was up 5 points for the week.

2nd: Laraine in chocolate factory touring gear. In true fashion, she was able to help them make a better brand of chocolate leveraging her culinary knowledge

3rd: The chocolate factory we toured.

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We elected to take an "off day" from the bike race today, and did a tour of the Scharffen-Berger chocolate factory, along with a tasting. Kinda like the winery, but the results effect your thighs instead of your liver. The factory was quite cool, but Tom got asked to leave for dipping his hands in the chocolate vats. You have to watch him every minute. Laraine had lunch with the head chocolater, and by the end she had been offered a job, and given a plaque for her contribution to "The World of Chocolate".

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Kathy disappeared mid-tour, and, low and behold, didn't we find her and Tom at yet another Mexican restaurant, sipping margaritas. We're going to put invisible fence collars on the two of them going forward, as they're just impossible to keep track of.

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Tomorrow, we'll drive US1 along the coastline, just ahead of the bike race.

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"Smelling of Tequila and Chocolate" Lumpy out

Da Governator Ist In Der Housen - Part 2

TOP: Da Governator with local pol

2nd: Peloton sprinting through the downtown circuit. This was at about 40 mph

3rd: Tom Boonen as race winner

4th: "Super Mario" Cippolini, one of my all time favorite sprinters. Took 3rd place at about 40+ years old.

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We sprinted into Sacramento just ahead of the peloton, parked, and made a dash to get inside the finishing circuit. We were able to get within about 1/2 block of the actual finish line. Wild action, 3 circuits with the lead changing nearly every minute, and sprinter leadouts all jockying for position. It came down to a Bettini, Cavendish, Cippolini in a mad dash for the line, with Boonen using his 6'4' frame to power for the win. An awesome finish.

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We stayed for the awards, which were very cool with Da Governator himself coming out of the statehouse, to big applause, and presenting the awards.

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An exciting, fast paced day indeed. Tomorrow, we'll take another day easy before catching back up to the race.

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"Terminator" Lumpy out

Da Governator Ist In Der Housen - Part 1

TOP: Race leader hitting the KOM peak

2nd: The main chase group. Note Cancilliara out front, and around him Zabreski, Leipheimer, Hincape, and the rest of the studs

3rd: Spectator pack at the summit of the KOM

4th: Tom's "all ears" on race day

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Today was our first day chasing the race. We elected to start right at the summit of the King of the Mountain (KOM) climb. The climb was 3+ miles, straight up. For those Rochesterians, it had the feel of Bopple, and for those SanDiegans, very Torrey Pinesish. But, for THREE MILES!!! It took us something like an hour to drive up the mountain, between all the amateur cyclists trying their hand, the press cars, the police, and other spectators. The top was spectacular, with I would guess several thousands spectators all croweded in, racers names chalked on the roads, TV, radio, cops, firetrucks, and morons with huge moose racks tied onto football helmets.

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You could just feel the buzz as the lead racer came up the climb, to a thunderous applause. A minute of so later, a lone chase cyclist. Then, the huge noise of the main peoloton, with about 130 chasers all "dancing on the pedals". People were running alongside screaming in their ears to climb, there were huge cheers for Levi, Super Mario, Big George, Fabian (Kathy's favorite because of his cute, er, downtube), and many others. Huge excitement, albeit for only a few minutes.

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As the pack went by, we hustled back to our cars and elected to take the back road off the mountain to save some time. Now, it's called the back road for a reason...about 200 switchbacks and one hyperventilated Laraine later, we were finally back into civilization. Kathy knew what to expect with my driving, so she just went to sleep. Tom closed his eyes...laraine made the error of trying to watch. We all have lessons to learn in life...

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Now we're racing the pack to beat them to Sacramento, where we'll hopefully get a kick-butt spring finish, see the Governator, and schmooze with the racers.

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Racing the Sun Lumpy out

Vino, addendo...

TOP: Ana, our little yoga instructor, shortly before poking her eyes out

2nd: Easily the biggest, er, rooster, at the winery. We later ate him with a lovely cheese sauce

3rd: Ed in his "natural" pose. Why leave a hand empty.

4th: And Tom in his....