The World is "FLATS"

TOP: The "remains" of one of my last lime green speedo's

BOTTOM: The immortal FLATS logo (Finger Lakes Triathlon Series)
Today we went and swam at the WAC (Webster Athletic Center) relays. This is an annual fun workout that old buddy DennyM puts together every year on Xmas weekend.

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Basically it's a 3 hour sprint workout, where the old guys (like me) all die, and the young guys get to strut their superiority. Painful to acknowledge, but true.

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This year they had about 40 swimmers, and we closed out the relay with my tribute to Governor Bodgoyavich. We had a series of match sprints, with the winner each getting a "Blago Buck". Whoever ended with the most Blago Bucks at the end of the race got to appoint the next senator from illinois. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Anyhow, much as we old guys tried, some young guy won the most bucks. He appointed Miley Cyrus senator...well, at least it beat Carolyn Kennedy...

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"Maybe I should run for Governor" Lumpy out

Coming Soon: The End of an Era

War Hero, Father extraordinaire, and Nice Guy, Bob Wisotzke goes to his final resting place

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Well, we unfortunately ended the year with yet another parental funeral (our 8th of the year). This time it was old friend Bob Wisotzke. Bob had an incredible life, he was, like many of his generation, an accomplished WWII vet, and kept active with his military comrades throughout his entire life.

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When we came back following the war, he married the lovely Rita Contestable, and proceeded to spawn not 1, not 2, not 3, but EIGHT kids! And, in a move that will guarantee him a place in heaven, 7 of them were girls. Still, through this multi-decade estrogen-fest, Bob retained his sense of humor, his dedication to country, and most of all his leadership and love for his family. They're an incredible bunch, and I consider myself fortunate to have known the lot of them for several decades now. We need more guys like Bob; dedicated to family and country.

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"Passing of the Guard" Lumpy out

First Snowshoe of the Year

L-->R: Judy, Gill, JR, Kyle, Lucy, Jerry, Tom, Kara, Puff Daddy, Kathy (missing: Honey, Sweety, and Lumpy)

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We had a serious snowfall last night, something in the 20" category, and everyone was just dying to get out for a snowshoe. So, we rendezvous'd a crew up at Henpeck Park (named after the poor bastard who jumped to his death into the canal after being henpecked for years by his spouse. I think that's the story anyways)

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The snow was absolutely incredible, light, fluffy, and deep. We hiked for several hours, even though it was the first time out for the year. Leading the way was little Kyle (the duck above), who never faltered, even when the snowpack was about midway up his body. What an adventurer.

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Tom's dog Lucy came along also, and she had the time of her life running free through the woods, chasing sticks, and meeting other dog-friends for mutt-java.

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"Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow" Lumpy out

Slowly I Turn, Step by Step, Inch by Inch...

TOP: American Falls torrent. Note the huge rockfall below

BOTTOM: Canadian Falls, with the wind whipping up the water

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I had to take a quick business trip up to Niagara Falls today. When you don't get up there all that often, you sometimes forget the shear majesty of the falls. They are just incredible, especially the Canadian Falls and the view from the Canadian side.

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Just a couple of quick shots taken as I was passing by. If you've never been there, you really have to go see them. And, if you have been there, but it's been a while, go check them out again. Well worth the visit!

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"Awed by water" Lumpy out

Gobble, Gobble, Gobble

TOP: Start quarterback and narrow receiver bask in the glory of their win

2nd: The Boys, yet again, incuring a penalty. This one was for "too much testosterone on the field", and cost them 10 yards

3rd: Post football, the 50 wisotzke's and 2 austin's chow down on an amazing meal

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Well, it's Turkey Day again, and that can only mean one thing. Well, it actually can mean a lot of things, but for our purposes, it just means dinner at the DiPasquale's. Alan owns a meat market, plus he's a great cook, so the dinners there are just incredible. Every year we look forward to Thanksgiving Dinner there, and then a day of football. "The Family" has about 50 immediate relatives, including 20+ grandkids, so it's a loud party, to say the least. Each year they have a girls vs guys football game with the grandkids. This year, I had the thrill of being head referee.

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Well, after about 30 minutes of trying to get the, not one, not two, but THREE footballs out of the tree where they were stuck, we finally got one down and were able to play the game. The girls started out with a big 21-0 lead, following a series of penalties against the boys...Roughing the Passer....Roughing the Kicker...Roughing the grass under your feet...the penalties just kept coming and the girls continued to pull ahead.

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The boys had to resort to trick plays to try to score. On one play they pulled off 37 laterals, but then just as they got to the goal line, they did a forward lateral, which any self-respecting football fan knows is illegal, and had yet another touchdown pulled back. Then, they tried a "flying wedge", a play well know from the movie "The Three Stooges take on Yale". Yet another penalty to pull back a touchdown, this one for too many tall people on the field. You'd think they would get their act together, but, no, it just wasn't meant to be.

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The girls won the game, 31-7, the boys lone touchdown being scored by Zach, basically the team mascot and smallest player on the field.

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OH, and dinner was awesome, as per usual!

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"Up 5 pounds" Lumpy out

Hell Hath Frozen Over

TOP: Zoe slamming her usual 2 pitchers of beer per game. What a lush

BOTTOM: Tom's official first turkey AND 4 bagger all in one game. His highest game by probably 50 pins!

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Well, I got asked to sub again tonite for Team Spawn, also know as Team We Suck More Than Detroit Lions. They are (for the 3rd straight year) in last place, and even the blind team (no, not actually sightless bowlers, albeit they would probably be ahead of this sorry lot also), the team that is composed of NO BOWLERS is above them.

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Well, anyhow, TomG had the bowling night of his life. He threw his 3 highest games, his highest series, had his first turkey, and his first 4 bagger. It was an incredible bowling display, and just goes to show you what can happen when a sport doesn't institute drug testing. The HGH, steroids, and viagara have combined to make him a giant in the sport, and I can even see a 200 game in his future.

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Tom and I have a running gag that whenever he beats me at some athletic endeavor, that I never have to do that again. Already out is several swim events (200 free...), virtually every running event (5K, 10K...), and pretty soon, it will be bowling. What a "big ball stud" he's become!

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"Sucky Sub-Bowler" Lumpy out

Another Generation Moves Onward

TOP: Kathy and my Uncle Frank, my dad's last surving brother

2nd: Lumpy with Aunt Joan (my late Uncle Eddie's wife) and Aunt Nancy (Uncle Frank's wife)

3rd: Ashley's graduation cake...down to a single crumb within minutes. Nobody ever said the Austin's couldn't eat...

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Today Kathy and I went over to our 2nd cousin stepdaughter once removed (or something like that) graduation party. It was a fun event, held at the largest firehouse I think I've ever been in...not that I've been in a lot of firehouses that is.

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Ashley is the step-daughter of my cousin Chris (and his wife Sandy). Really nice folks, albeit we don't see them too often. Chris is one of the hardest working guys I know. While I sit an play on a computer all day, Chris is a farmer, fireman, a father, and a farfegnuven (only other F-word I could print). Sandy teaches elementary school (oh yeah, also high on my list...spending every day with a bunch of kids) in a nearby district.

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The surprise of the party was when we walked in and Ashley came up to say hi. She had cut her long, beautiful golden locks down to a spikey punk look. Wow, what a makeover! With all the bad stuff you read about kids nowadays, here's one thats got her head screwed on straight. Worked hard so that she could graduate a semester early and work for 8 months to get money for college. Already college accepted, and into her program of study (athletic training). Great to see that she's done so well, and I'm certain that she'll continue the run.

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So, for all you kids out there who are lost, screw-ups, or trouble-makers, here's a press from the Lump to forget Mike....just be "Like Ashley".

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"Maybe there's still hope for the next generation" Lumpy out