Monday, August 10, 2009

Birthday incoming!








TOP: Birthday Kathy getting served her "turkey platter of stuffed fish"
2nd: The fire marshall made the restaurant keep the candles down to a manageable level. They were scared that 50 would cause an inferno
3rd: She's Irish, so OF COURSE she's got a drinking problem
BOTTOM: Peter's lasagna. He was the only one to finish his entire meal...oh, and 2 pieces of cake to follow. Impressive achievement.
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We celebrated kathy's 50th bday at fratelli's on saturday, one of our favorite local italian haunts. Fratelli's is famous for portions the size of sicily itself, and they didn't fail to disappoint. It took us hours to eat, and everyone (sans Peter) took home enough food for 1-2 more meals. Of course, that didn't stop anyone from digging into massive size pieces of laraine's world famous chocolate cake, which I swear she put extra sugar in this time. I was in a coma riding home!
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All in all, a great evening out, Kathy is sooooo happy that this milestone is behind her and she's now AARP eligible!
"I'm now married to a senior citizen" Lumpy out



Buoy or Girl?








TOP: No, it's not an AARP town hall meeting, it's the swimmers
2nd: At least the kayakers were young! Swimmers had nobody with more than a 1 pack...albeit we had probably drank FAR more 6-packs than the youngsters
3rd: Robb has a problem with peeing in the water, so he used the buoy
BOTTOM: Swimmer approaching the turnaround. Judging by the glare off the head, it's probably Dave :-)
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I competed in a 2.3 mile open water swim last weekend out in Lake Ontario. It was the first of what hopefully be an annual event, hosted by the Klafen family, his neighbors at Wautoma Beach, Braddock Bay Paddlesports (which dave owns), and apparently, the AARP. The swim was 2.3 miles, from shore out around a major buoy, and then back.
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The water temp was perfect, virtually no waves of substance (a FAR cry from the Canandaigua tsunami-fest a couple of weeks back!), and they had little chocolate donuts for the competitors. Which, frankly is all that's needed to get me to do anything. We started out with a gunshot, as one of the swimmers was thankfully euthanized. George Burns would have been the kid in this crew. But, fierce competitors we all were, especially Dave looking for his revenge after getting beat by Gary, Carl, and I think even Queen Elizabeth at Canandaigua. But in his defense, he did get spooked by the little fishes there.
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We were all pretty close at the turnaround buoy, when Robb (the youngest amongst us, who should still have a working bladder) decided that he needed to climb up on the buoy to take a pee...in his wetsuit. Why, we'll never know, but let's just say that it's impressive the way those suits channel fluids.
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The race back was a humdinger, with yours truly taking the win; mainly because dave had to stop to take his meds, and carl's chest hair kept getting caught up in the seaweed. They actually had to cut him loose at one point. I can't say enough good about the kayakers either, as they were vigilant, powerful, and several had treats onboard.
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All in all, kudos go out to the klafen's for orchestrating, here's to making it an annual event, and hey, if nothing else, just have us all out annually for those donuts!
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now known as the "open water michael phelps" Lumpy out


Sunday, August 9, 2009

Wow, I really AM and asshole!

Had my first colonoscopy today. WHAT A FUN TIME!!!! Better than ice cream and a roller coaster. Well, actually not, but at least it wasn't as bad as I expected going in. They put me out cold in about 30 seconds, I never felt a thing, including the procedure, the transport back to the waiting room, and, oh, about an hour or so in the waiting room. I was O-U-T out.
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"Gotta get me some of THOSE drugs" Lumpy out



Day 4: Cayuga Finite

We hit the water early today after, yes, wait for it, Peter having another batch of buckwheat pancakes at Warners. By this point, we're regulars, and they're considering us for equity partners. OK, we really didn't hit the water THAT early, since it took him over an hour to eat all the pancakes. But, we did give it a shot.
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It was a beautiful morning on the water, and that made for a quick start and good motivation. We paddled along quite well for a few hours, and then dropped into a local marina to rotate the girls. Kathy, bring the queen of helpfulness that she is, came waterside and offered to stabilize my boat while I exited. She sat on the front, I started getting out, and then the local Marina guy started talking to her...which we all know is a really bad thing, as 1 is her multi-tasking limit. She rotates around to answer him, unweights the boat, and I go rolling into the water headfirst. The marina guy is in stitches at this point, Peter is scouring the shoreline for more buckwheats, Judy is putting the boat on top of the SUV (a REALLY fun sight if you've never seen someone 4'6" load a kayak that weighs more than they do ontop a vehicle 2 feet higher than they are!).
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The girls wrap up for the day, and peter and I high-tail it the remaining 5 or so miles to the lake end. We have to go another mile or so up the Cayuga-Seneca canal to get to the car, so we have a chance to scope that out a bit also...should be a quick paddle sometime in the fall.
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All in all, a great paddling weekend, we got in our longest multi-day paddle, did out biggest lake, braved the elements, boat traffic, and buckwheats without any major damage, and got to watch bill drink some wine. I'll buy THAT for a dollar!
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"King of the Lakes (for this weekend anyways)" Lumpy out

Day 3: Far Above Cayuga's Waters

This morning, after another Buckwheat-fest at warners again (only 5 plates this morning for peter...slacker), we headed down to Ithaca to begin tackling Cayuga Lake. This was going to be another epic paddle, 40 miles in length, very deep, boat traffic, and subject to some whicked storms. Today the koz's would be joining us also, Scott for the whole day, and Jan to rotate in with the girls.
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We put-in about a mile down the lake inlet in Ithaca, because, hey, what's another mile when you're doing 40 anyways? We sent the crew out, and I hung back a bit to help the sag get packed up. Bad move on my part, because by the time I got in, they were gone out of sight. I jumped in the boat and paddled like hell to catch up, such that as I was going through the marina I was passing sailboats going out for the day on their small outboards. Nothing makes you feel more studly than passing a 30' boat, giving them a little flick of the head, and saying "G'day mate....that all ya got in that tub". BTW, having beer cans thrown at your head is NOT a good way to start the morning...
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I caught the crew a couple of miles downlake, and we paddled for a few hours...well, a few hours that felt like days as the light tailwind had totally disappeared, the sky turned black, and the waves started kicking up. Poor Jan, who was out for a "fair weather frolic" was getting tossed about, and totally bonking. Peter pushed her along, and we got her through her leg. But, it was a tough one for all of us, and we were only about 1/4 up the lake by early afternoon. Kathy rotated in and we decided to up the pace, not realizing that we really were tossed, and she proceeded to give us a testosterone whupping for about 4 hours until she finally wore out. Great leg on her part. We closed out the day about 2/3 up the lake, with a plan to finish up a bit early on monday.
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The quote of the day was when Judy was lamenting Peter having his own, composite boat, while she just had to make do borrowing other people's. He say to her, and I quote "Well, if you just didn't piss away money on your teeth (she had recently had a root canal), you could have a kayak". Like the ability to chew is privledge, not a right. We were in tears, and I'm sure he got some heavy sex that night!
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"Far above Cayuga's waters, there's an awful smell; Some say it's old Lake Cayuga, other's say Lumpy, er Cornell" Lumpy out

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Day 2: Paddling Northern Seneca Lake

We got an early start this morning after an incredible breakfast at Warners (sic) with their hubcap-size buckwheat pancakes. These things were monsters, and after watching peter put down 5 PLATES of pancakes, oh, and fruit cup, I was worried about the tensile strength of a composite kayak (to say nothing of our car's springs...).

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We hit the water by 10, to a light chop, with judy taking the first rotation for the girls. Our adventure was to make a 3 mile open water lake crossing in the midst of powerboat traffic. Well, after about an hour on the lake, we heard this dull noise...which then became a loud roar, as over 2 DOZEN cigarette boats came flying by us, I would guess at over 50mph. They were hauling, and the noise was just deafening. About 1 minute later, here comes a sheriff boat out from the shoreline, sirens ablazing after them. An hour later, here they come back again, southbound, at least as fast, now with 2 sheriff's after them. Hell, this was beginning to become entertaining. The sheriff finally pulls over the slowest of the bunch, and we watch and laugh as he gives them a chewing out, and then follows them into the shoreline.

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Meanwhile, the winds had picked up, the sky darkened, and the chop increased to the point where there were waves breaking over the top of our kayaks. So, we're basically invisible to boaters out there anyways, and now we're a group of submarines!

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We made the crossing in good form however, at least until we arrived near a large breakwall by the state park. Herein the water was "in crisis" as they say, and we were bounced all over the place. Luckily we're such stellar swimmers that we weren't the least bit afraid....well, that is except Judy-Toons, who swims much like I diet. It was a harrowing half an hour, and when we finally made shore to rotate the girls, we were pretty happy.
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Kathy, of course, was just THRILLED to go out there in that turbulance, but give it a go she did, and got through it with flying colors. Her kayaking is really coming along, if not her self confidence going in. We finished Seneca Lake a few hours later, just in time to watch all the Tri-Geeks dropping off their bikes and checking-in for sunday's race. Darn glad that Koz picked up on this, as it would have been a nightmare if we had finished there during the race.
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Sat urday evening we went to a great little lakeside bistro in Geneva for dinner, joined by the Koz's who had just gotten there for their sunday paddle, and Bill and McKenzie Slater, who have a cottage nearby. The place was excellent, but clearly the line of the night was when Bill was mucking around with the wine steward, and Kathy blurts out "I totally trust Bill Slater"...Well, the room comes to a complete silence (even Jan!), and we're like "What did you say"? She meant with respect to the wine, of course, but just the thought of that phrase was too much for all of us!
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Tomorrow, onward to tackle Cayuga Lake. For tonight, sleeping with Koz yet again
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"I sleep face up, that's how much I trust Bill" Lumpy out

Sunday, August 2, 2009

'Yacking the "Big Lakes"











TOP: Peter actually taking a break from eating to kayak

2nd: Peter's finishing sundae

3rd: A magnificent 3 master sailboat out on Cayuga Lake

BOTTOM: Judy handing off yet another plate of food to Peter, his 5th of the morning...and we hadn't even kayak'd yet.

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This past weekend we went after the 2 largest of the Finger Lakes, Seneca Lake and Cayuga Lake, both roughly 40 miles long. This would be our longest kayak trip yet, and had the potential for the most complex...much rougher water, winds, mid-summer Tstorms, and more complicated logistics. The paddle would be roughly 1/2 of of each lake each of 4 days, and if we were able to get ahead of schedule, we'd throw in the seneca-cayuga canal. That was our stretch goal.
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We had planned on starting early on friday morning, but as luck would have it, my over-50 body failed me again, this time with a hemhorroid the size of a pumpkin developing on thursday. So I had to see the doc on friday morning before we headed off. This delayed our put-in in Watkins Glen on Seneca Lake until nearly 3pm, so most of the day was lost.
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That said, it was a glorious evening to paddle, with the lake absolutely flat, a light tailwind, and only 4 boats seen in our 4 hours of paddling. We got through about 18 miles due to some strong paddling by kathy and judy, and actually ended the day in a pretty good place logistically. We wound down the night at a local ice cream shack, where we had burgers and watched peter empty an entire ice cream vat.
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"Faster than those F1 cars" Lumpy out




CAN Redux








TOP: The women-folks hanging out lakeside at the Weidrich cottage
2nd: Ever watch a Pole try to work with a pole? Watching Koz put his sail up for the first time was, in a word, priceless!
3rd: The waves breaking over the buoys, just in time for the swim
Bottom: Dave and Carl still happy at registration...they haven't seen the lake yet!
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Last weekend a group of us signed up for the National Championship 2 mile swim at Canandaigua Lake. I was really looking forward to it, as I've got a long history with the lake (first to swim its' 17 miles back in 1984!) and felt like I was finally starting to get some swim fitness back after a long layoff.
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We got down to the lake, and, low and behold, there were significant waves breaking on the beach, 20+mph winds, and massively threatening storm clouds coming over the surrounding hills. After a registration snafu, the organizers got the swim start late, and we all headed out into the waves.
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I was having a pretty good swim, just rounding the buoy at the 1 mile (for logistics, the course was 4 x 1/2 mile course) when everyone started blowing horns and yelling. I just figured that it was for me, they were so impressed with my performance. Well, turns out it was because lightning was sighted just a mile or so downlake, and they wanted everyone out of the water NOW!!!! So, the swim was stopped at that point, everyone had to race to shore, and it was all a chocolate mess...but, in their defense, the correct call by the organizers. Safety has to win the day.
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They were unable to restart due to the conditions, so they called it there. So, off we headed down to the Weidrich cottage for our annual CARP party. That turned out to NOT be cancelled, and we had a great time (as usual!) with booze and food nonstop for the rest of the day. One of the highlights was Koz taking out his newly purchased sailboat for it's maiden cruise. This was especially funny, as Koz has never sailed before, didn't know which end of the sail went up, and didn't realize that if you start downwind, it's pretty hard to ever get back to your starting point with gale force headwinds. Luckily for him, "Skipper" Tom Miller went along, and took the reins, and all turned out well.
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It was especially noteworthy to see Jane in such great shape, as she had just had a heart stint put in the week prior. Pretty darn spry for an 85 year old! Don't know how many more years we'll get a chance to do this party, but I have to say over the last, oh, 20 years, it's certainly spawned some great times and memories.
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"Maybe I can get a colon stint" Lumpy out

Why Do I Remain Lumpy?


Found a little cafe' shop with fresh rasberry tarts and chocolate-peanut butter smoothies on my ride yesterday.
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Just can't figure out why I never loose any weight on these rides...
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"Lumpy 4Ever" out